Sunday, July 13, 2008

Suicidal desire

How tired can a person be?
Doing work doesn't make you as tired as you don't do anything but think so much..
Physically tired, 1 good night sleep will do..
Mentally tired got no cure..
Only drugs can numb you for a while..
I am so tired..
I fall back and lay down..
Seriously sick.. mentally..
Thinking what you want can kill already..
The same question repeating..
What do you want?
Maybe because too many things that i wanted..
Desire kills..
There's a hole in me..
Nothing that can fill it..
I keep thinking what are the things that make it complete..
One perfect thing that make it all happen..
End up, i get nothing..
Some things i want, but i don't want..
Its like..
If i get it, i won't be happy..
Buf if i don't, it hurts..
Either way i won't like it..
I'm really stuck in this feeling..
I hate who i am
I not willing to let go.. that's the main factor..
To the things that i know i couldn't get,
To the things that i know i wouldn't want,
I want to keep everything with me,
I want to have everything..
I want 'PERFECTION'
But think of it, if everything perfect,
Then this world gonna be very dull..
I know that..
But i still want it..
But i don't want this world to be dull too..
See how complicated is my brain?

Right now, the only way to get this over is to get a job..
Keep myself busy and forget the world around..

No comments:

Quotes

1. stop being a bitch and just do it-MYSM
2.
weak mind for losers
3. success is not done by strength but through perseverance
4. talk mean nothing, action show everything
5. the ball is round, the ground is flat, 50:50 chance
6. lack of discipline that bring you down
7. you have to agree, but doesn't mean you need to follow
8. by giving out your heart, you already did your best
9. love your enemy and pray for those who persecute you (JC)
10. big mouse eat big cheese, small mouse eat bullshit

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Sorry for my bad language,
sorry if i've offended anybody,
sorry for the harsh word.